Testing my joyful heart

A couple of days ago I posted about needing to have a joyful heart in all circumstances and how I had been tested...little did I know that the harder test would be today.

Last night some one broke into our new home and broke windows, mirrors, and punched holes in the walls. They aren't sure the extent of the damage because the property management hasn't been out to see it yet. All we know is from the police report. But as it is now we aren't allowed to move in this weekend and her initial estimate is in 2 weeks. They think it was some stupid teenagers having fun with a vacant house.

I am royally bummed! Way more so than earlier this week. I am really struggling to be joyful and trust in the Lord. S and I were just voxing with Chris about how excited we are that this is the last night to be away from him...and then 20 minutes later he called with the news. I think it is harder because it is such a huge let down. I mean my house is packed and we are literally ready for the truck to pull up and load it all.

But no...some idiotic person couldn't contain their stupid urge...see what I mean! I am so mad at whoever did this. They have no idea what this means to me and my family. We have to now wait 2+ weeks to actually see my husband everynight again. My kiddos need their Papa and I need my husband. And if it is going to take too long we have to give up on the house all together and find another one because we can't wait another month to move. Which I don't want to even think about not getting this house...it is so pretty and the perfect price!!!

Don't I sound so whiney!!! There are families whose husbands are in Afghanistan and the most contact they get is a video chat occasionally. There are women who have completely lost their husbands through death. And those kiddos don't have a papa to raise them. There are families who don't have a home or food or clothes or a proper roof to keep rain and the cold out. There are women who can't have babies but they yearn so desperately to have at least one of their own.

I am a very blessed woman. I have more than a million things to be thankful for. And everything I have is a total gift. I deserve none of it, not.one.thing! So I am working on putting my big girl pants on and girding my loins. We will make it out of this season. For all I know this is all happening so that I will learn to trust the Lord more and have a joyful heart in even this situation. I want to succeed. I want to do well. My emotions keep taking a hold on me but I am not giving up this fight. I will glorify the Lord whether through obedience the first time or repentence after I fall. I prefer the first but regardless I will glorify God and Praise Him for only He has the power to decide what happens to my soul, which is really all that matters.

I mean who is going to be in heaven complaining that someone broke their window when they were on earth and they couldn't move when they wanted it. Or on a sadder thought, who will be in hell complaining about the same thing. No this is but a very very tiny momentary light affliction.

So thank you God for this trial because this trying of my faith will work my patience (which I need) until I am perfect and whole...wanting NOTHING!!!

James 1:1-4, 12
James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting.
² My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
³ Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
⁴ But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

¹² Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

Getting Ready for the Move :)

S is pulling off all the clothespins for me

I really love my girls. I don't really have much to say other than that. We just worked on packing today and they are so fun to have around! My big S girl is so helpful even at 2 1/2. I love being able to give her a job and know she will do her best job. She is usually very quick to helping and a lot times sees a need before I ask her! She isn't even 3 yet. Ah the beauty of child training :)

It was pretty cold today so I had the girls nice and bundled up. I think D was still cold because she didn't move around much. That or she just couldn't move with all those layers on. She grabbed my jammie pants on our way out the door and used it as her blanket while we were out. I tried getting a picture of her snuggling my jammies but right before I got the shot she sat up.

Then of course S had to have a picture taken of her too. One of her most common sentences that she says daily is "Can you take a picture of me?" So she rolled around in grass.

On an unrelated note, I have a diastasis recti. Maybe I will go into it more later but one thing to help prevent it from getting worse during pregnancy is to support my belly especially when doing laborious things. But instead of buying an expensive wrap thing I just used my woven wrap. It felt very comfy and it def helped, well at least it felt like it did lol. So here is a little belly shot.

So thankful to be moving! I am working on my goals and plans for getting my business up and running in the new area. Very excited to spread my team out and introduce Norwex to a lot of new people!

Having a Joyful Heart

"You need to have a joyful heart" is a common phrase in our household.

D's joyful heart :)

Joy isn't the same as happiness, although similar joy is something you can chose to have with the help of the Holy Spirit. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit given to believers. It goes so much deeper than happiness. Joy isn't a feeling based on circumstances.

James 1:2-4
² My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
³ Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
⁴ But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

I don't know about you but I am not exactly grinning and feeling warm and bubbly when I am facing trails or temptations. It is usually a situation that I don't like. But you can and should be joyful in the midst of it because of the understanding of what the trials and temptations actually mean. It is opportunity to grow and Christ and be more like Him. An opportunity to overcome sin and bring glory to the Lord. 

Joy,in my understanding, is more of a contentment, a constant controlling of your soul to submit to the Lord's will with the understanding that all things work together for the good for those called according to His purpose. It doesn't mean it feels good but rather you chose to not be swayed by your circumstance. 

I say "where is your joyful heart?" to my daughters frequently. There are a lot of things in life that don't go according to plan and I want to train them young to still their hearts from becoming upset and anxious because they aren't getting what they want or they don't like what is happening. It is amazing to watch a two year old who is clearly upset about something stop in their tracks and change their attitude. It is so beautiful because I know how hard it can be to chose joy when you just wan to be mad and upset. 

I too have a hard time having a joyful heart and controlling my attitude and my girls attitudes totally reflect mine. When I am grumpy and upset all day they have sour faces and bad attitudes as well which upsets me and continues the cycle more. Once I realize I apologize and repent. A couple of weeks ago, D pooped on the floor and I was really upset about it (since it was happening contstantly!!) and S said, "Mama you have a bad attitude." I was shocked she recognized it and called me out at such a young age but so humbled. I immediately repented and told her she was right. I love that my daughter can now tell me to have a joyful heart!

Today I think was a big re-test for me. Months ago when we first moved to the property we had to first move into a room with all of our belongings while we waiting for the previous caretaker to move off the land. He originally gave us one date. We bought our RV and scheduled for it to be moved the day after he moved off. I was so excited to get out of the room as it had been about a month at the time and it was a very trying situation to live in. A couple of days before my husband was talking to the man and he mentioned that he would be staying for a couple more weeks to basically stay as long as the owner said was allowed (he wasn't leaving on good terms and was trying to get back at the owner). It was only two more weeks but I was devastated. I had such a bad attitude. It ruined all my plans. I was so upset and let it show for those two extra weeks. I definitely did NOT have a joyful heart. 

In the present: we were approved for the new house and were planning on moving this coming weekend. My plan was to pack all this week to get ready and that would put us in the new house before Thanksgiving and well before Christmas. But today we realized when scheduling our appointment to sign the lease that the property management company expects the full months rent upon signing on top of paying for the deposit this month. We will only be there a week of November and we don't have twice the rent right now at the end of the month..well we do but then we have no money to actually move. My husband tried to convince them to let us pay the prorated price now and the full rent next month but they said it is their policy and wouldn't budge. This means moving in 3 weeks instead of this weekend. 

One little blessing :)

At first I was devastated. I was so anticipating packing this week and I had it all my head how it would work. I didn't cry but I was very heartbroken. But then I stared praying and asking the Lord to help me with my attitude and I began reflecting on how blessed we are. We are still getting this house. We still get to move and be closet to my husband. He still has his job and is getting amazing hours and we are finally able to start saving! My children are healthy and I am having another baby. We are so blessed and in a couple of month an extra 2 weeks won't seem like much once we are actually there. I wanted to respond well; everything I was feeling was telling me to be depressed and sad but I knew I really had no reason to be. I said to myself, don't be a spoiled brat who throws a fit because I am not getting what I want when I want. I wasn't even being told "no", just "wait". 

So I called my husband and told him it was okay, we are still blessed and God is still good. What more could I ask for! He was so glad to hear me say that; he was worried how I would take the news because being away from him has been very hard and I have been struggling to keep a joyful heart. It was such a joyful moment and as I submitted my heart to the Lord He began blessing me with more Joy. I just changed all my plans and made new ones. I was still bummed and even praying that if something could be done that it would but if not I wasn't going to let it rock my boat. 

The story could stop here and I would continue working on keeping my joyful heart but then my husband called later in the evening saying he had a surprise. Turns out his mom is going to pay for the first month of rent so we can move in this weekend after all! We will of course be paying her back but what a blessing!! I was very shocked and excited and very very thankful. 

I don't think this usually happens where once you submit your heart you end up getting what you wanted in the first place and I was completely not expecting our delay to be changed. Nevertheless, I am very thankful that in this instance He has chosen to provide. I do wonder if he would have if I hadn't had a joyful heart. I truly feel like this time I passed. I was given an opportunity to overcome sin that had taken me out before and I did! Thank you Holy Spirit for your help. Thank you Jesus for your forgiveness of sins. Thank you Father for allowing me to try again! 

Just thought of this, D's middle name is Joy. And pretty since she was born Joy has been something the Lord has been working in me! So interesting!!


***From now on posts will be scheduled so that they don't post the actual day I write them. So if things seem off like me talking about an upcoming holiday that has already past, this is why***

Maybe I will pick this back up...

I stumbled upon my old blog tonight and saw how many pageviews its gotten. Apparently people want to read more about EC and parenting :)

So maybe if I can find time in my busy life I will pick this back up.

A quick update since it is my bedtime...

Sammy is now 2 1/2!! So hard to believe! She is fully potty trained during the day and has been for over a year now. She does wet the bed at night but it started happening when her sister was born.

Which leads me to announcing that Samantha now has a little sister, Dakota who is currently 10 months old! As far as EC is going for Dakota...its good but not going as well as with Sammy for multiple reasons. We have had a few transitions during her younger months like moving. And I wasn't a diligent to potty her as a was with Sammy. My thoughts were that it wasn't necessarily quantity of catches with Sammy as it was quality but that isn't always true. I depended on diapers a lot more with D especially during the move which the whole process took about 2 months. We are working at it but now he cloth diapers have severe amonia build up from the well water so we have been using disposables for night and outings which really hinder us. But she is still on ly 10 months and she knows to go, just need her to cue to me :) I hopefully can post more on this later.

Another transition that hindered D's pottying was my first trimester for our 3rd baby! That's right I am now 14 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy :) Planning on another homebirth. We are in the process of moving yet again a couple of hours away to where my husband has been relocated for work. It is a crazy time right now but we are making the most of it.

This next babe I am planning on keeping it diaper free the vast majority of the time including out and about. Having depended on diapers so much with D it really makes me not want to this time especially after going back and reading how well we did with Sammy from such an early age.

So there is the quick update of it all. We shall see if I can find the time to come back later and add more!!

Dakota 10 months

Sammy being silly- 2 1/2 yrs

Sad to Leave but Happy to Move!

I am just so excited to announce that we are moving next week! We have been in living in a studio since we got married...well actually I have been living here since a month before we got married; 17 months! We are moving to the intern house where we were both interns. I am so very excited to be close to lots of people again and especially close to some of our best friends! We have been trying to figure out if and where to move to for such a long time so to finally be at this point is super exciting.

When we first found our studio we were so excited! We were just engaged and didn't have much time to find a place. I looked online everyday for something we could afford and close to our community when one day I found it! For $450 a month we were so shocked and it was within waking distance of the neighborhood where most people in our community lived! We called right away and came to look at it.

The lady from the property management group looked at us like we were crazy for wanting to look at such a tiny place. She talked to us like we were going to laugh at the thought of moving in once we actually got to see it. Then she didn't know how to react when I said I loved it!!! And I did. It was perfect to begin our new life as a new couple and eventually family, although we weren't expecting to start so soon. We were so excited about it we didn't even notice the broken screen door or the kitchen faucet that has the tiniest amount of hot water flowing from it. It had character...sort of. So we moved our stuff in and I moved in the month before the wedding.

First Arbuagh Kiss!

I enjoyed making the space ours and preparing it for Chris once he became my husband. There wasn't too much to prepare but I loved laying in bed at night picturing what my near future would like like after we said "I do". A few weeks later on June 11 we came to OUR little haven and became husband and wife then went out to eat India Oven : ) . We soon left for our honeymoon and returned with an extra person unknowingly hiding in my womb.

BFP!!!

I started feeling different and suspected I might be pregnant. Anxiously I waited to take a test and took a few way too soon! Then finally the first day my period should have started the test was positive! I couldn't believe it! Just 2 weeks into our marriage we found out I was pregnant! We began taking weekly belly photos almost immediately...and then forgot after a while.

First Weekly Pregnancy Picture

I remember the air conditioner broke towards the end of my first trimester. Yuck! It took the a whole week to finally replace it. And a week to a nauseous pregnant woman is a long time! Then winter came and my belly grew. I loved when I could start feeling her move inside of me! I spent so much time sitting on our only chair staring at my belly waiting for her to move. We rearranged our furniture and set up the co-sleeper before I was even 20 weeks! My excuse was so that we could get used to the new layout by the time she came but really I just wanted to daydream about when she would be laying in that bed next to me!

Last Pregnancy Shot at home at about 5 months

Winter began to fade and my pregnancy was coming to an end when I got the worst pregnancy rash called PUPPP. Ugh it was horrific. I was already past my due date and all of a sudden this incredibly itchy rash spread over my entire body and was constantly itchy! Scratching became my drug of choice. During the day we tried everything we could think of to get my labor started and to distract me from the itch but at night I would wake to find myself scratching like a madwoman! Chris would hear me and get me out of bed to throw me into the cold shower. Terrible! We would sit there for so long with the freezing water pouring over my body while I sobbed begging God to make it go away. I think that was just as hard as labor!

Sorry its blurry; first time to inspect my daughter

Finally 2 weeks after my due date labor began! I spent my labor walking around our small home back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen into the main room and then all over again. I was in the bathtub when I broke down and cried to Chris telling him how hard this was. And after 18 hours of labor my beautiful daughter was born on our bed in our tiny home into the hands of my amazing midwife. I will always remember that corner of my bed right next to the door to the bathroom where I met my daughter for the very first time.

First Potty

This is our first home as a family and where many of my daughter's "firsts" have occurred!
Like her first time to get dressed, first laugh, first cry, first bath, first time to potty in the toilet, first time to roll over, first time to sit up, first time to roll off the bed, first time to have a poop explosion, first time to understand "no", first time to eat a food other than breastmilk. For her first 6 months this has been her home!

First Tantrum

So although I am very excited to be moving and to have much more space for our family there is a part of me that is sad to say goodbye to the first place we called home as the Arbaugh Family. I will cherish every single memory that I have of this tiny studio; the good and the bad. And now I am looking forward to our next home and all the memories it will bring.