Why I never fed my children baby food

An article came up today about the history of canned baby food and my husband suggested that I write about what we do when it comes to feeding our babies.

Just want to preface with I am not linking any of the research that I have personally done because I did it a while ago and didn't save it. And I don't want to find more just for this post...sorry. So I encourage you that if you don't understand at least the logic behind what we do, which I will explain, then to please research it yourself and really think about it.

Baby food as we know hasn't always been around, duh... in fact in the entire history of mams feeding their babies canned baby food is still a new invention. Even more than that feeding babies BABY food is new.

Think about it, if you were living like you were camping and you had a young baby would you spend time and effort in pureeing your food for your baby. I doubt the thought even came to them.

Reason #1: The nutritional value in canned baby food vs unprocessed real food just doesn't compare. Commercial baby food usually has forms of sugar, salt, food colorings, and preservatives in them. Some are getting better now that people are becoming more aware of what is in their food but they still aren't nearly as good as food made from scratch, whether it be a cooked meal or raw food. The standards that they are guided by, while they are there to protect from certain diseases, they also hinder nutritional quality by use high heat or chemicals during the whole process. Not to mention most baby food isn't organic so your sweet pure baby is being fed food that is laden when pesticides and genetically modified organisms. If you don't think organic is important then you should really spend some time researching it. And you are probably not going to like anything else I have to say in regards to food.

Reason #2: Baby food is bland! It is so tasteless unless it is full of sugar and/or salt. Have you ever tried the food your are trying to shove into your child's mouth? No wonder they spit it out so much. A baby begins learning to taste in utero. A mother's amniotic fluid is flavored by the food she eats and then after the baby is born so if her breastmilk. So babies are being introduced to flavors early on and can even begin developing preferences. So why all of a sudden around 6 months is it normal to stop giving them the flavors they are used to and instead give them something that tastes like cardboard. You try eating baby food for a day and see how you like it. Babies are soaking up everything. They learn at an incredible rate and part of that learning process is eating. Americans wonder why so many children are so picky, I think there is more to it than just this aspect but I do believe this is part of the problem. When you get you baby hooked on processed bland food then when they are "old enough" you try to give them fresh or cooked veggies or cooked meats that taste nothing like they have been having for over a year, it shouldn't be so puzzling that they don't like it and would rather have the puffy star snacks and macaroni. Instead, they should eat what you eat with the same seasonings you eat. If you are worried about salt then you need to learn about salt. Regular white table salt isn't good for your baby OR you! So learn what kind you should be eating, the kind full of nutrients that you need. The kind that has those nutrients naturally and hasn't just been added back in. Then not only will you feel much better when you eat salt (physically and mentally) but you will also not be stressed about it when your child has it.

Reason #3: Baby Food is a lot of work!
You might start learning this about me but I am all for not working harder than I should. Now a lot of what I do requires more work up front for more reward in the end (like EC) but sometimes there is just no point in working harder for something.
There is this idea out there that if we don't feed our babies commercial baby food then we need to make our own healthy baby food. But when I say I don't feed my children baby food I mean I never feed them any kind of baby food. I don't even make my own. I don't make anything that even somewhat resembles baby food. The closest I get to going out of my way for the baby's food is make hard boiled eggs so they can have the incredibly nutritious egg yolk and making liver which is also a super food especially for babies. But other than that...they literally eat what we eat. This is within reason of course. I don't feed my toothless 6 month old hard bacon or chewy steak but if we are eating potatoes or steamed carrots or broccoli then you bet they get to eat it. The thing is until they turn a year eating solids is just for fun for them. It is just a learning experience not a they are going to die without it. You can exclusively breastfeed up to a year and your baby will be totally fine! So if there isn't anything they can eat that we are eating...they just don't eat. I stick a boob in their mouth instead :) As they get teeth and get better and better at eating the get to try more things. And from my personal experience (which isn't much yet) both my girls love to eat and are definitely not picky eaters. My second (who is turning 1 in about a week) has a few more preferences but she still eats a huge variety of foods.

There is a name for this type of feeding and it is called baby led weaning/eating so if you are interested in learning more research that.  Here are some of our guidelines for feeding our babes.

1. They are EBF until at least 6 months. Once they are 6 months I don't force food on them but we start holding them in our laps and if they go for something they can eat we go ahead and let them. Both of our girls were really interested in eating at 6 months so they both naturally started then but I have nieces that didn't start until later which is totally normal.

2. We don't feed any type of grains until 18 months or until molars appear. Whichever comes first. There is good evidence pointing to babies don't develop the enzymes to process grains until this time. So we just withhold them until that time. Another benefit to this is that they don't get hooked on bread so early. It can be really easy to just feed them bread at restaurants or crackers when they just need a snack. But these things are like crack to kids! We limit white flour in our diet so when they do begin eating grains they are mostly only eating whole grains.

3. We don't give them any type of sweet or dessert until 1. For their first birthday we take them to PinkBerry which is frozen yogurt made with real yogurt. It is low in sugar so in my opinion is a good first treat. But even after this point we still limit sugar intake. As a family we don't have sugar often Mostly at birthdays or special events. Even this seems a lot to us; my husband and I were just talking about how often those events come up so we will probably start limiting even at special events for ourselves and our children.

4. We don't cut their food into tiny pieces. In fact the bigger the the better usually. Part of learning to eat is to learning to bite off and chew. If their food is always cut up so tiny they don't learn quickly. Another part of this lesson is learning to choke. What I mean by that is one reason for baby food is so that you never have the fear of a baby choking because they are pretty much only eating liquids. But babies have an incredible ability to gag on their food and prevent choking and the more times it happens the less frequent it becomes and the better they are at eating. VS. feeding them real food much later and them learning at an older age when it isn't necessary. Now I will say though, that we do keep very careful watch over them when they are eating. I never leave the room when they are young and eating in the event that they can't get something up so I can be there to help them. But amazingly if you give them bigger pieces that they have to bite off themselves they choke less because they learn how much they can handle. In fact, certain family members just can't stand to see us feeding our children such large bites so they start cutting it up for them which only makes them choke more.

I am pretty sure that is about it. I may have forgotten a thing or two but you should get the gist of it. If you are interested in learning more please research it for yourself. A great book I recommend is Real Food For Mother and Baby by Nina Plank. And while you are at it go ahead and research nutrition for yourself. The finding of Dr. Weston Price is a good place to start. Or the book Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon

Sad to Leave but Happy to Move!

I am just so excited to announce that we are moving next week! We have been in living in a studio since we got married...well actually I have been living here since a month before we got married; 17 months! We are moving to the intern house where we were both interns. I am so very excited to be close to lots of people again and especially close to some of our best friends! We have been trying to figure out if and where to move to for such a long time so to finally be at this point is super exciting.

When we first found our studio we were so excited! We were just engaged and didn't have much time to find a place. I looked online everyday for something we could afford and close to our community when one day I found it! For $450 a month we were so shocked and it was within waking distance of the neighborhood where most people in our community lived! We called right away and came to look at it.

The lady from the property management group looked at us like we were crazy for wanting to look at such a tiny place. She talked to us like we were going to laugh at the thought of moving in once we actually got to see it. Then she didn't know how to react when I said I loved it!!! And I did. It was perfect to begin our new life as a new couple and eventually family, although we weren't expecting to start so soon. We were so excited about it we didn't even notice the broken screen door or the kitchen faucet that has the tiniest amount of hot water flowing from it. It had character...sort of. So we moved our stuff in and I moved in the month before the wedding.

First Arbuagh Kiss!

I enjoyed making the space ours and preparing it for Chris once he became my husband. There wasn't too much to prepare but I loved laying in bed at night picturing what my near future would like like after we said "I do". A few weeks later on June 11 we came to OUR little haven and became husband and wife then went out to eat India Oven : ) . We soon left for our honeymoon and returned with an extra person unknowingly hiding in my womb.

BFP!!!

I started feeling different and suspected I might be pregnant. Anxiously I waited to take a test and took a few way too soon! Then finally the first day my period should have started the test was positive! I couldn't believe it! Just 2 weeks into our marriage we found out I was pregnant! We began taking weekly belly photos almost immediately...and then forgot after a while.

First Weekly Pregnancy Picture

I remember the air conditioner broke towards the end of my first trimester. Yuck! It took the a whole week to finally replace it. And a week to a nauseous pregnant woman is a long time! Then winter came and my belly grew. I loved when I could start feeling her move inside of me! I spent so much time sitting on our only chair staring at my belly waiting for her to move. We rearranged our furniture and set up the co-sleeper before I was even 20 weeks! My excuse was so that we could get used to the new layout by the time she came but really I just wanted to daydream about when she would be laying in that bed next to me!

Last Pregnancy Shot at home at about 5 months

Winter began to fade and my pregnancy was coming to an end when I got the worst pregnancy rash called PUPPP. Ugh it was horrific. I was already past my due date and all of a sudden this incredibly itchy rash spread over my entire body and was constantly itchy! Scratching became my drug of choice. During the day we tried everything we could think of to get my labor started and to distract me from the itch but at night I would wake to find myself scratching like a madwoman! Chris would hear me and get me out of bed to throw me into the cold shower. Terrible! We would sit there for so long with the freezing water pouring over my body while I sobbed begging God to make it go away. I think that was just as hard as labor!

Sorry its blurry; first time to inspect my daughter

Finally 2 weeks after my due date labor began! I spent my labor walking around our small home back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen into the main room and then all over again. I was in the bathtub when I broke down and cried to Chris telling him how hard this was. And after 18 hours of labor my beautiful daughter was born on our bed in our tiny home into the hands of my amazing midwife. I will always remember that corner of my bed right next to the door to the bathroom where I met my daughter for the very first time.

First Potty

This is our first home as a family and where many of my daughter's "firsts" have occurred!
Like her first time to get dressed, first laugh, first cry, first bath, first time to potty in the toilet, first time to roll over, first time to sit up, first time to roll off the bed, first time to have a poop explosion, first time to understand "no", first time to eat a food other than breastmilk. For her first 6 months this has been her home!

First Tantrum

So although I am very excited to be moving and to have much more space for our family there is a part of me that is sad to say goodbye to the first place we called home as the Arbaugh Family. I will cherish every single memory that I have of this tiny studio; the good and the bad. And now I am looking forward to our next home and all the memories it will bring.

Please dont Deify me!

**So I want to preface this post by saying I genuinely don't want to sound 

 like I secretly want your praises by saying that I don't want them. 

Also I am not saying that everyone should do exactly everything that I do or the way I do it.

 I am saying to figure out what really is best for you and your family and do it.

Many have said many great things to me recently about what I am doing with Samantha, and while I appreciate the encouragement I want to also make clear that I don't want to appear as though I have everything figured out and I am somehow a supermom. Our pastor and good friend Brion recently just said that when people see you doing something "extraordinary" they will deify you in order to justify themselves for not doing what you are doing. People will say or think things like, "Well your baby is just extra sweet." or "I couldn't do that because I have this kind of child or these things to do or these problems with my husband". And while I honestly don't think that everyone is doing this I do want to confront those who  might be and tell you that what I am doing is completely possible for you to do... its even pretty easy once you can get over your fleshly self.

While I have always wanted to be a mom I didn't come to do what I do naturally. The Lord has been showing so many truths to me for the past few years, biblical truths and practical. Once I got one revelation I wanted more. I want to know what is true and right and best for my family, AND I wont make excuses to not do what is best. I realized during my first trimester when I was exhausted and I just want to sleep all day that I would rather die young and exhausted having poured my life out for the Lord, my husband, and my children than to die old, complacent, boring and with no good fruit of my labors. So I CHOSE to pursue truth and then follow it. I researched and still do about tons of things. Food, drugs, vaccines, EC, birth, pregnancy, child training, marriage, etc. Once I learn about something I try to apply it. It isn't always an automatic switch but I purpose myself to change.

I am no different than anyone else. God didn't give me extra grace to do these things. At least none that I didn't ask for. I made purposeful decisions to figure out what was and is good for my family and then I followed through. My point in this post is to tell everyone that you can do and have what I have. Work on your character so that you aren't lazy and complacent and do it! If you want to potty train your baby, awesome do it. Research it. Learn about it. Ask questions. If you want an amazing birth, do it! You want an awesome marriage read the word and obey it! You want to know how to parent, read the word and obey it! And watch people who have great kids! Learn from them. Ask them questions!!!

I am sinful! So sinful! I am lazy and apathetic. I was not born with a propensity to go out of my way to learn things. If I followed my flesh I would have an average American life, marriage, family. Probably even worse. The point of this blog is to be an information source to someone who is searching, like other blogs were to me. Not to be the entertainment for people who will read this and do nothing.Therefore, please do not deify me. Please please please do not say that I am different and somehow better than you because of what I do. I need the same amount of Jesus' blood to cover my sins as you do.

My Birth Story

My due date, exactly 2 weeks before she was born!

3 weeks before I was due I began having some contractions that were more intense than the braxton hicks I had been having for months. I thought I would be going into labor soon. Weeks went by until my due date sadly passed while I continued having. Then I developed a horrible pregnancy rash called PUPPP. It covered my entire body except for my face. Nothing I did would make it better. I was miserable. At my 41 week midwife appointment my birth assistant put me on a diet to try to minimize the itchiness and it helped tremendously! But I was still very pregnant and ready for my baby to come! We started using black and blue cohosh tinctures to help stimulate my contractions.

 March 19, Chris and I went to our midwife's (Renee) house for her to put primrose oil directly on my cervix. While doing so she checked me and I was 6 cm and 100% effaced! We were very shocked that my uterus had done that much work and I wasn't even in labor yet. So we went home and tried to go to sleep. Almost immediately after laying down contractions began and they were good ones. I tried sleeping but eventually they became so painful that I had to move through them and obviously couldn't do that in bed. So we got up at about midnight and started working through my contractions. Renee came around 2:30 and then Rebekah and Kim (student midwife and birth assistant) came around 3:00. My favorite way of working through the contractions was to stand and put my arms around Chris' shoulders and moan. It was like we were dancing. I felt so close to him and I soaked up his strength! My contractions were strong but they would speed up then slow way down. Hours went by and the midwives decided to go home to rest and give us a chance to rest as well. I tried finding a good spot in bed to lie down in between contractions but everything hurt my back. The position I finally could find minutes of rest on was on my knees leaning on the birth ball with my bum up against the wall. My sense of time was completely gone! I was shocked when the sun began to rise because it had only felt like a couple of hours since labor had begun.

Chris and I got up, ate breakfast and tried going for a walk. I could only make it down our alley because it was so cold and I didn't feel comfortable moaning outside. The midwives returned and I kept on laboring. I felt good and was enjoying labor. I joked between contractions and then focused when they would come. But they were still pretty irregular. They would get down to 2 minutes or less apart and then would space back out to 10-20 minutes apart.The midwives went for a walk and let us labor alone. When they returned we were all determined to get this labor going. I was about 8 cm and my bag of waters was bulging. We wanted them to break so I would get into different positions during contractions and try popping it with my breaths. It wasn't working. The bag kept bulging further but still wouldn't break so they had me lie down and push during contractions. That's when things began to get intense.

I somewhat liked the pushing then because it felt different than the contractions but it also wore me out pretty quickly. Finally it broke!  I was checked again and I was 9cm with a tiny lip of cervix still in the way. My contractions were so very intense after that. I couldn't find any position that felt good. And my back was killing me! Sometimes it felt good if Chris pushed on it and others it was horrible. I felt like a deer in the headlights sometimes. When the contractions would begin all I knew was that what I was doing hurt and I had to move but I had no idea where to move to. I asked to get into the bath tub thinking that would help my back but it didn't.

This is when I hit my wall. Because I wanted to be a midwife  I have read tons of birth stories and almost every woman describes a point in their labor where they have to decide to let their bodies go and give into the pain. I tried preparing myself mentally for this moment, knowing that the quicker I could give in the better. I was trying so hard to give in to the pain but it was so difficult. In the bath I started crying and telling Chris about what I was feeling about giving in. He was so helpful the entire time! He was there at every moment encouraging me and supporting me in whatever way I needed him to. My midwives came in to offer some additional support and I asked if I was in transition.When they said yes I was very encouraged because that meant birth wasn't too far away. They had me change my breathing to blow the pain away instead of moaning which helped tremendously and they had me squeeze the pain into their hands.

Then it was time to get things moving. We decided to go ahead and let them try to hold the cervix out of the way to let the baby's head come down. They had my lie on the bed again and push during contractions while one of them would try to move my cervix. This part is a little blurry to me and all the moments run together. It went by so fast to me. I was pushing which at this point felt amazing. It still hurt but it was a different pain. It was an active pain from the stretching instead of the contraction. I remember in between contractions being so relaxed and almost in another world. Then the contraction would come and I would push with everything inside me.

I wanted to change positions because I didn't like the idea of being on my back but Renee wanted the baby to come down to a certain point before moving. At one point Renee had me open my eyes and focus on her which was actually really hard to do. I was in such a different place that trying to focus on the outside was near impossible. It was like trying to stay awake when you are exhausted and your eyes just won't stay open. Then she had me tell my baby that everything was okay. Later, she told me that the reason she did this was because Samantha's heart rate was low and she wanted me to breathe and calm the baby.

She started having me breathe through every other contraction to help her get more oxygen but then my body started pushing for me and there was no stopping. That was probably my favorite feeling of the whole experience. Feeling my body take over in pushing her out without any help from me was exciting! I still didn't think that she would be out soon. In my head I kept wondering when I would be able to get up and change positions. Then all of a sudden everyone was yelling (remember I was so deep into my head that I didn't hear a lot of what was going on around me.) I didn't know why everyone was yelling but I kept pushing with everything I had in me! Everything burned like crazy! At first I hesitated because I wanted the burning to stop but I remembered that I had to push through it to make it stop. There is no turning back. Then they placed Sammy on my chest!

 I thought I was dreaming for a second! I thought I still had hours to go! I was so excited that my baby was finally here! I can't remember if she cried right away or not. I just remember her wet slimy body on me. I loved it! She was born at 6:20 pm on March 20 after 18 hours of labor! I literally thought it felt like 4 hours! It went by so fast to me! I tore in two places but there weren't very deep. Only one needed stitches. Getting stitched was not fun at all! I could feel them stitching me because the medicine wasn't working. So I sang to Samantha to try to keep my mind of the pain. She loved it! Then we snuggled into bed as a family.

They cleaned everything up and Kim made us dinner. Samantha weighed in at 8 pounds 9 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. She was so beautiful to me! She nursed within her first hour. Her grandmas came over for a quick visit then we nestled in to our bed together. I barely slept that first night! I was way to high too sleep! Chris put her in his arm so I could sleep for a couple of hours. She caressed his beard the while time and he fell in love!

Day 3, we went on our first walk.