New, New, New!!!

Sorry I have been absent for a while. So much has been going on it has been way to hard to find a chunk of time to write about it.

First of all husband has a new job! Well technically he has had it for about 6 weeks or so but he is finally able to start working. I won't bore you with all the details (although I actually find them quite interesting but I don't think everyone will!) so basically he is a construction inspector. It was a miracle how he got the job and it was absolute perfect timing! Usually it takes 1-2 years to get this job and he got it almost immediately! However the work did not so we have been barely squeezing by with his part time job at Starbucks...yuk! And just when our accounts were running dry he finished the certifications he needed and was called out to Southern California for at least 2 weeks! Which is awesome and very sad at the same time because unfortunately we cannot afford for me to go out there with him just yet. So after 2 weeks we will see what happens. We are very excited for this job because it will allow us to hopefully by property and or land way sooner than we would have hoped for. We want to buy everything in cash and not get into any debt. This is very important to us and now we this is a near possibility!

But I miss my husband very very much! We have not been away from each other for a whole day since we first started courting in January 2011! And now he is gone for a minimum of two whole long dreadful weeks. This is not very easy for me. Actually that doesn't even sound accurate to what I am feeling. If you want me to get real honest I ache for him. I miss his warmth at night and his body up against mine when we sleep. I miss his hugs and his man voice. I miss having him here to talk to. I miss making food for him or cleaning for him. I feel like I am in mourning over him! It is very hard not to cry at any moment in the day. I yearn for him so deeply it hurts me so much. When we skype or talk on the phone I can't stop crying. This is very difficult for me and this is only the end of day 3. Each day seems to get slightly easier but it is still incredibly painful. All this may sound silly, especially to those I know whose husbands have been or will be gone for much much longer. Kudos to you all! I seriously have no idea how you not only do it but seem to be fine doing so! Eventually with what has been prophesied over Chris it is very possible that I might have to face an even longer time away from him or even losing him completely and while I ultimately want the Lord's will I pray that it won't be so.

There is a very good thing coming from this already that I realized almost immediately. At first i was almost reprimanding myself for being so attached to Chris but then the Lord showed me his purpose for my pain. he reminded me of when the Pharisees were asking Jesus why his disciples do not fast. And he replied saying why would they fast why I am with them. But there would be a day when he would leave and they would fast waiting for his return. And then in Romans 8 when it says that the whole creation groans and suffers pains in waiting for Jesus. I am feeling this intense groaning in my bones for my husband but it is for the purpose of feeling that pain for Jesus. I feel such a loss without Chris. My favorite part of the day is when he comes home and with him being gone I feel like my day is almost pointless. I am still serving him and honoring him by keeping our home ready for his return and taking care of his daughter but it just doesn't feel the same without him here. This lack is absolutely miniscule compared to our lack without Christ. And what I am feeling is so completely overwhelming I cannot imagine our true lack that we are suffering currently while we wait for Christ's return. I am so excited for that day just like I am excited for when Chris and I will be reunited. But our reunion with Christ will be so much greater!

The whole picture of Christ leaving Earth by dying on the cross and then his ascension into heaven and then his eventual return just makes so much more sense to me now. The Lord is slowly revealing more and more to me through each emotion I am having. While it hurts so bad it is amazing to see and know the Lord even more because as much as I love Chris, I am not living for him. I am living for Christ. I am suffering for Christ. I am groaning and suffering pains for Christ. My soul is anxiously waiting for the return of my bridegroom! This is so intense!!! I wish there were better words to describe it although it probably wouldn't make much difference since it is totally the Lord giving me this revelation. Anyways...

Chew, Chew, Chew!

I am almost certain that my daughter is teething! She has been showing signs for about a month now, but these last 2 weeks and then especially these last couple of days have been a bit more intense. Yesterday she was very cranky and at one point couldn't be calmed which is very unlike her. And touching her gums made it worse. Today I can feel a hard bump right where I think the first tooth is coming in and her gums feel different. Poor baby, I was hoping she would be one of the babies that teething doesn't really affect them. It is also hard on me because Chris and I don't want to give her any medicine. We want her to learn to deal with pain and not try to run from it. So I am giving her fingers and toys to chew chew chew! My knuckles have started getting sore from all the chewing! She seemed better today in her mood but I still am hoping that tooth will just come through already. Then we will have another new experience I am sure with her biting me while nursing. One day at a time!

Teething has made her cues to potty and nurse still a little hard to read lately. So for pottying we decided to start taking her every 45 minutes unless she does cue. And it has worked amazingly! Today she was in the same diaper all day long until I was on the phone with Chris and then she wet another one when we were serving at our old church in the baby class ( I couldn't leave to potty her so unfortunately she had to just use her diaper)

Still rolling over!

Last weekend was my best friend's wedding! She was absolutely beautiful and so was the wedding. I was her Matron of honor which was a huge honor for me! But it was another new experience for me. The day of the wedding Chris was so awesome and took care of Sammy all day! But he doesn't have boobs...in case you didn't know lol...so I had to nurse her every once and a while and it was never good timing of course. So she would get quick mini feeds here and there. Although she didn't seem to mind so much since she was having so much fun with dad and all the people she saw. But by the reception my boobs sure did mind! They were so full and hard and rushed to get my food right after the bride and groom so I could get some sweet release! It was hard splitting my attention between my friend and my daughter. Thankfully she also had her sister as her other maid of honor so I wasn't responsible for everything! I did make some pretty cute head bands that I learned how to do from a website linked from pinterest. I will have to attach pictures later!

Playing with Daddy!

So now I am trying to stay busy so that I don't cry all day long. Hopefully I will get in some sewing projects tomorrow! And then next week Sammy and I are going to Kid's camp through our old church. That should really help keep my mind a little distracted! It will also be my first trip of any kind ECing Sammy. But I think it will go fine since I won't actually be a counselor. I am very excited...I think I was born to live permanently at camp! Its probably one of my favorite places in the world that I have been to! And not specifically where I am going, just camp in general! So much fun! So I will try to take lots of pics and tell you how our trip goes with Ecing and just having a baby there period!

Oh and after that there is a possibility that I will be moving down to L.A. with my husband. Everything is all up in the air and there are so many unknowns but at the very least after the next 2 weeks we should be able to afford for me to go wherever her gets called to go to which makes me very happy! We might become a little gypsy family! We are even thinking about getting a mobile home if he is going to have to travel a lot! so we shall see!



Congratulations to you if you have kept reading all the way until the end! I just have one last thing to say. I wanted to offer to answer any questions anyone has about anything we do in regards to our parenting style if that makes sense. Or something you want to hear me talk about like co-sleeping, vaccines, babywearing...anything. I could even give links to websites i have researched or whatever you want. Just a thought. Goodnight!